Dear 2016, I Ain't Sorry
This past year has truly been one for the books and I'm excited that the end is quickly approaching. Just like every other year that has came and went, I started this one off with resolutions, vision boards, and prayers for better. I won't join in on the chorus that 2016 was the worst but I won't claim that it was the best either. I've learned a lot in my 26 years but mainly that life is at times unforgiving. I've learned that with all the ups and downs that you have to be willing to move forward with any energy you can muster up.
I can truly say that this year was a year of transition and transformation. Both of these actions can leave you feeling drained but ultimately lead you to your true self. I still have no clue why but the universe used this year to rid me of the old as the new was ushered in. I saw the end of friendships and relationships that had struggled to hold on. I allowed old thought patterns to crumble beneath my faith and I decided to tackle the barriers that had been silently holding me back. It was tough but necessary if i wanted to set my path ablaze for an even brighter new year.
People sometimes attack the idea of resolutions because it seems as if historically as a whole, we can't follow through. We find ourselves in the gym until January 27th, we save our money until that good sale hits, and we cook our meals until our friend reserves a space at the new restaurant. For me, resolutions have been solid reminders that I don't always follow through with my word. Instead of creating a list of resolutions, I wanted to acknowledge what I'm happy to be leaving in 2016. In the words of Beyonce, I Ain't Sorry. Good riddance!
1)The Need to Make Other People Happy
I, Kamil, have been a yes woman. I have often found myself saying yes to things that don't make sense just because friends suggested them. Not to say that this is always wrong but it is wrong when it is done at my expense. I've quickly realized that I don't owe anyone an explanation as to why something is right for me even when they don't agree.
2)Foes Dressed as Friends
I take great pride in having some of the most solid friendships which have resulted in an overflowing tribe. I had the unfortunate but eye opening opportunity to interact with a few people who truly did not have my best interest at heart. These were people who were attracted to my light but did nothing but drain me of my energy whether intentionally or not. For me, this looked like ex flings and old acquaintances who overstayed their welcome and were completely okay with robbing me of the good I had to offer. I had to understand that not everyone in your life deserves to be there and it is up to you to do the needed trimming.
3)Counting the Blessings of Others
I've written about it before but sometimes it is hard not to focus on what others have. I've sometimes become so engulfed in the gift of others that I overlook what is right in front of my face. I discount my talent, I take my biweekly paycheck for granted, and I begin to wallow in a pool of pity. There will always be someone who seemingly has more especially if you approach it from that aspect. What is important is the quality of your blessings not the quantity. Don't ever confuse the two.
4)A Spirit of Not Being Good Enough
I don't claim to be perfect by any means but sometimes I count myself out before I even get a chance. My fear of not being good enough has delayed so many great ideas in order to protect my fragile ego from being told no or possibly receiving constructive feedback. This has also been intertwined with the idea of being too good at something. I know this sounds crazy but sometimes I struggle with the idea of actually being too proud and seeming boastful. We all deserve to be confident in our craft and gifts. It is not our job to ensure that other people are comfortable.
5)The F Word
Get your mind out of the gutter! The only F word I'm talking about is fear! I spent 26 years allowing myself to build barriers that often time really didn't exist. I talked myself out of trips, I allowed bad relationships to continue, and I did things that contradicted who I really was. Fear can be one of the most restrictive emotions if we allow it to have this power. It can also be one of the most freeing if we fully acknowledge it and use it as a catalyst for something more.
It will be 2017 before we know it and the choice is ours to make it the best year yet. I would say I'm sad to see 2016 go but I'm really not. I would say I'm sad to leave so many things behind in 2016 but that would be a lie as well. Change is a constant in life which is only made possible by the disposal of the old and outdated. Don't let this year hold you back from anything you want to claim in the new year. The whole universe is up for grabs, trust me!
What Are Some Things You Aren't Sorry to Be Leaving Behind in 2016??