Do you ever have one of those weeks where it seems as if the world has been spinning two times faster than normal? It’s not nearly enough time to process your daily occurrences and it feels like nothing is balanced. This is how I’ve been feeling since the weekend and each day has been another step deeper into the rabbit hole. The feeling is overwhelming and I’m forced to rely on my faith during times of general confusion.
Years ago I was of the mindset that any time something bad happened in your life, God was punishing you. If it rained and you didn’t have your umbrella it was because you forgot to pray. If you applied for your dream job and rejected, it was only because you didn’t pray hard enough. Essentially every down moment was the result of something I had or hadn’t done in regard to my relationship with God. Luckily as I’ve aged, I’ve also matured in faith which has been a blessing in itself.
I was listening to a song earlier this week titled Gracefully Broken. I reflected on all the times I had been broken and they were anything BUT graceful. I remembered my time in the hospital after my accident hooked with pain traveling the length of my body, I remember peers on my campus calling me name I won’t repeat, I remember bad breakups, I remember my pain seeing violence the country and feeling low. It was in all those moments and the countless others I won’t list that I felt so down and out that coming up didn’t seem like much of an option.
The moment we begin to see the message in our mess is the time when we begin to grow. God is the God of all things good but He knows that you’ll sometimes be uncomfortable on your journey to comfortable. This isn’t to say that I don’t at times feel defeated because I do. This week I have felt defeated no matter how hard I try to bounce back on the right foot. Being gracefully broken is the knowledge that it’s intentional and will be to your benefit. It's remembering that God is the Great I Am not the great I was or will be.
One of the most trying aspects of my relationship with God is respecting His timing. Sometimes I feel like I’m in the midst of storm and He says, “ Just a bit longer…you need to feel this rain.” Moments like these I struggle to understand how and why He leaves me hanging but faith is knowing that no weapon formed against me shall prosper. These “moments” sometimes last for days, weeks, months, and even years. The biggest storm of my life was my accident and nothing in the moment ever seemed like it would be made right again.It took God breaking me down into nothing to see the grace unfolding.
I want to challenge you to not become a victim of your circumstance. If anything, this is what the devil wants. He wants one situation to knock us off our feet so we count our problems rather than our blessings. Faith challenges us to thank God for the storm because we know it won't last forever. God has an incredible sense of humor and He's gracefully breaking us all down for our good.